Pink napkins of pearl float away in da winter wind

The hardest part of holding on is letting go

2006-11-04T21:11:00.000-08:00

Tonight my family was at a small party, and my sister-in-law was, of course, being asked many a question about her very soon delivery of her baby boy Jackson. He'll be born in 1 week and 6 days now. But baby Jackson isn't going to have the healthy delivery everyone always hopes for. Instead, right after he's being born he's going in for a heart surgery, only to go back a few months later for another heart surgery. When he's about three years old, he'll need another surgery. Finally, the doctors are guessing that when he approaches the age of thirty or so, he'll need a heart transplant.

Chelsie, my sister in law, was saying how so many times she's been asked (by people who don't know this whole situation) "aren't you so excited to have the baby? Can't you just not wait to finally stop being pregnant?" And Chelsie's answer? No.

Chelsie explained how she wants baby Jackson to stay in the womb forever. He's safe in there. He has absolutely no complications whatsoever and he's happy as a clam. It's not until he's born that he starts all his problems. She doesn't want him to experience that. She wants to hold on to him and keep him safe.

How often are we like that? We struggle with something and God asks "please! Give it to me, I'll carry it for you!" but we shrug Him off and answer "No thanks, God. I can't. It's not safe. No one can care for it the way I do." "But I can," God replies. "No thanks, God. It'll get hurt."

We try to protect ourselves by holding on to something we're afraid will hurt us if we let it go out of our power. We don't realize that, if we give it up to God, He'll help us with it. He'll carry our burdens. He wants to. He asks us for them.

How come in our world, we always wish we had no problems, no pains, no sorrows? But when God asks for them, we simply answer "no thanks God. I need to protect this on my own."

Give it to God! It'll be hard, believe me, I know. We can't possibly believe He'll do a better job with it. At least when we have it, we know how to control it. But by giving it God, oh man... it'll be great. God will take care of it. God will protect it.

Just like God will protect my little nephew when he's born. Chelsie may think that she's the only one that can protect him right now. But God is going to be in the delivery room with her, ready to protect him in His big arms as soon as he's born.

How lucky I am...

2006-09-07T17:09:00.000-07:00

To have known someone that was so hard to say goodbye to.

Meet some of the people that have had the greatest impact on my life. From left to right: Laura, Cory Bosse, Christina, me, and Cory Mitchell. They've been there for me for a long time. It all started last summer. Through a series of unfortunate events, I got closer to each and every one of them. But how fortunate it turned out! They've seen me through thick and thin. They each know when to give me a hug or when to give me a smile. They never once say no if I ask them to pray for me. They're always willing to give me a few moments of their time so I can chew their ear off, cry and just be held, or just sit there in silence and appreciate it. I love them SOOOO much. I haven't had such amazing friends as them before. Ever. They were what made school the happiest place on earth.

But see the problem now? See the difference? All green and one white. One loan junior, standing in the sea of green, knowing she still has one more year without all her friends. It's still an exciting journey, but so different. Because age requires them to be pulled apart physically. Society says "You go to college!" and "You go to highschool!" It's weird. It's different. It's harder than I've ever imagined.

Will I see them again once they all leave? I hope so. I really, really do. We've all had our share of arguments and disagreements. But we love each other. Hawaii, walking around talking, Van number 7, My bonnie lies over the ocean, "OH CRUM!", Skinny trees, happiness, God, FRIENDSHIP. This is all wrapped up in our little clan of five.

Last summer was so great. When I think of last summer, I think of those people up there. Yeah, lots of hurt came. But still, they were all there.

It's so hard to be younger. And I'm not even younger than all of them. But I'm a grade lower. And with that comes one more year of highschool.

I'm going to miss you guys so so much. I hate seeing the difference between us as you all go to college and I continue in highschool. It's an obvious difference and it makes me sad. But, I know we can make it. I know it.

:(

2006-09-01T18:29:00.000-07:00

I feel yucky. This morning I woke up with a sore throat, and it's gotten a lot worse. It feels like my throat is swelling up and it's hard to get air through. And my nose is getting plugged so when I breath it takes just much too much energy. No!!! I can't get sick! Chandler comes home tomorrow and I need all the energy I can get!! Being sick is poo. Nope. I refuse to get sick. Refuse refuse. Stupid swollen glands, sore throats, plugged noses, and being too tired to really do anything. :(

When I look at the stars, I feel like myself.

2006-08-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

I was in Ojai tonight, and it's amazing how many more stars are visible out there than back here in Camarillo. I love stars. I think they are one of my favorite things that God created (besides puppies, of course!). They're pretty. They make the navy blue color of the night dance. Not only that, but they amaze me. What look like tiny little specks to you, are, in reality, gigantic things. It's incredible. I can't comprehend it.

Then I think about it. We live in the Milky Way. It's a galaxy. A HUGE galaxy. And we live in it. But wait. We can see it. It's like seeing earth, but still standing on its ground. It amazes me. It really makes no sense to me. I don't understand why we can see something we're in.

It's nights like these when I'm just reminded, time and time again, how incredibly amazing our God is. He's so creative, so talented. I don't thank Him enough for it.

So, next time I gaze up at the stars, maybe instead of trying to figure it all out, I'll just thank God for a beautiful night sky to look at.

Can we survive the storm?

2006-08-18T16:50:00.000-07:00

Someone pointed something out to me today. After a two hour long conversation about dreams, his dream in particular, we ended with one conclusion: Christ is coming back. Are we ready for it? We Christians are going to be put through so much crap, tested so much, tempted, everything. Do we love our God enough to be willing to put our lives on the line? Can we stand up against the devil himself? The devil is a disgusting, powerful creature. He wants to take the hearts of the people that love God. Can we stand up against him? Are we strong enough?

This world is so material. I'm sad to say that I often find myself falling under that category of a "material" girl. I try not to be, but on the other hand, it's always just so much easier to fall in line with the rest of the world.

But we need to stand out. As Christians I believe it's our job to be different than the other people. We need to prepare for Christ's return. We aren't told when it's going to be. We're just told it's going to be soon, and we need to prepare for it. But how are we going to prepare? I don't think going to the mall and buying your best outfit will help you prepare. I don't think treating others in a great way will help you prepare. No. I think the only way to prepare is to prepare our hearts. We need to focus 100% on our Lord. We need to seek Him, and Him only. The drama in life? It's no big deal. There should be no drama. Drama is from being wrapped up too much in your own life. Focusing on God, I believe, will help eliminate that.

We need to love God with our entire heart. We can't love this material world. There's a song by Casting Crowns that says "I made the world my friend, and it left me high and dry." This world is far from eternal. It's going to end. It will always let us down. But our God won't. He will never leave us. He will never let us down. We need to stop focusing on the bad of this world, and start focusing on the greatness of Jesus.

I've been really stupid this past year. I've made a lot of mistakes. And today it finally clicked. I'm not proud of my life a few months ago, or even a week ago. But mistakes happen. We need to learn from them, and learn how to avoid them in the future. We need to give all our problems to our Lord, and sacrifice our lives over to Him. I haven't been doing that. And it's completely changed who I want to be.

I want to be someone who does not conform to this world. I want to be someone who is completely, and totally, in love with my Father. I want to be ready when Jesus comes. I want to feel like I did alright in this life. I want to leave a mark. Not a mark of being beautiful or popular. I want to leave a mark that says I loved God in a way that no one else has. That's what I want to be known for. How stupid I've been for thinking otherwise. How stupid I've been for abusing things God has given me. I should be thanking God daily for my life. He has given me life. But instead, I'm asking for more. How lame is that? God gave me His Son. But I ask Him for more.

I want to be different. The good different. I want to go to Heaven and hear those words "well done, good and faithful servant." Have I been good? Have I been faithful? Am I even a servant of God? I say I am. But do I act like it? Does my heart believe it?

There's a song that goes
"Make me a servant, humble and meek. Lord let me lift up, those who are weak. And may the prayer in my heart always be, make me a servant, make me a servant, make me a servant, today."

I want to be God's servant. I want to praise Him with my life. Not just half of it or part of it. All of it.

escuela

2006-08-17T13:45:00.000-07:00

School starts soon. And I'm SO excited!! I've always loved school. I started going there as a sophomore after my parents divorced (no more homeschooling, woot!), and I've loved it ever since. At first, I'll admit, I was a bit hesitant. But at the time I had miss Vienna with me, and she helped me get through EVERYTHING. And now I'm a school-aholic. My sister is quite disgusted with me, but I don't see why. It's just something I enjoy. The good majority of my friends are from that school... not to mention my two ex-boyfriends... and it's just fun. Ali thinks school is for learning only. I say nah. Love the socialization. :)

So yay. Monday morning I'll be headed up to school (dogless, sadly) and it'll start. This year is my senior year. It'll be full of college trips, senior trips, band tours, etc. I'm super duper excited. It's gonna be good. :)

Hey look! ^ I can se me!! Sorta the front row, wearing a gray sweatshirt with red lettering. That's me! :) Oh, by the way, that's our entire school. A wopping 190 students. :) It makes me happy.

Back to School Rush

2006-08-12T10:43:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows how people climb all over each other, bite each other, scratch each other, race each other, and practically do anything to make themselves look a little bit stupid, just to get the clothes you want at the prices you want. I should know. I took part in the Back To School Rush at Khols today.

Was it worth it? Oh yes, of course. I bought so many clothes. My sister and I have never been so successful in shopping. Spending $178.00 in just under an hour is quite the accomplishment, believe me. It wasn't easy.

Yesterday I had seen a Khols commercial. "EARLY BIRD SPECIAL!" it announced. "GREAT SALES FROM 7am - 1pm ONLY!" Knowing we needed to go shopping, and having a feeling Khols would be our place of choice, I told Ali we must go. So, at 7:30am I aroused rather casually, then remembered, today was the day to shop. I got Ali out of bed and she took a shower, and I followed her. By the time we got up to the store, it was 8:55. But, why were all the people still in their cars or outside? I squinted my eyes and read "store opens at 9am." Wow. Was I ever thankful it takes two girls so long to get ready.

Apparently there had been lots of miscommunication between tv commercials and billboard ads. Ali and I were not the only ones who came a bit early. I actually heard one older man say he had been waiting since 7am. Wow, sir. I hope it was worth the wait.

A bit embarrased that we were one of those "ready to go" people, Ali and I sat outside and waited, trying to stay casual. Everyone was nervous. They were biting their fingernails and smooshing their faces against the glass doors, yelling out to their children where they would first attend. It reminded me of an amusement park and mapping out your day before you even entered. When the doors open, I kid you not, the people rushed in. Ali told me to go. I told her to be laid back. We sat out there for probably thirty seconds, then realized we probably looked even more stupid than everyone else.

It was pretty much a free for all once you entered. Red SALE signs were everywhere, blurring your vision as you walked. It was almost beautiful. You heard the mothers cry and the babes giggle. It was a sight.

You pay for your clothes and realize that, even though you spent an obscene amount of money, it was worth it. Ten shirts, three pairs of pants, and a skirt. When you put it like that, it doesn't seem like it should be as much money as it was. But, it was completely and totally worth it.

Call me a shop-aholic if you want. Call me a crazed person. Call me anything. I prefer to refer to my sister and myself as "the best back to school rush shoppers in town."

Thank you very much.

Family

2006-08-08T17:11:00.000-07:00

My brother, Jimmy, and his wife are having a baby! It's pretty exciting. His name is going to be Jackson Theodore Wilkinson, and he's arriving in December. However, Jimmy's a marine. And when duty calls for him, nothing, not even his un-born baby, can stop him from going to Iraq. Jimmy left last week and will be gone until March or April. I often tell God that if anything happens to Jim.. well, let's just say, we hope nothing happens. But anyway, that's not the point. Chelsie is back here living with her family in Camarillo. Last year and the beginning of this year she lived with us, then moved to North Carolina. But now she's back. And she just invited herself over to hang out.

Please know that I love Chelsie with my whole heart. I really do. But I'm not the best of hostesses, and Chelsie is very very high-maintenence. But I love her though. PLEASE know I do. But I can only stand so much of it. It's always exciting to see Chelsie and see how much bigger her belly has gotten. But there are days, like today especially, when I'm just exhausted and need my break.

On top of it all, my friend Laura is coming over tonight. Another high-maintenence girl. And really, the only thing that is going to bother me is, Mr. Chandler, who has been very calm and relaxed ever since Yvonne left, is goign to be hyper again. And how do I explain the no petting rule? And if they want to pet, they need to get bitter apple sprayed on their hands, and so far people choose not petting the dog. Not that I'm complaining. But, what was once promised as a calm, quiet evening, is about to get much louder.

Wow..

2006-08-06T21:48:00.000-07:00

So, i haven't updated in yeah, basically forever. But that was my choice. However, after lots of debating about wether or not I should start this specific blog back up, I decided to. See, I'm a blog aholic. I love them. I have multiple. One I write in when I'm having a rough time. One I write in when I decide to be poetic (not too often, believe me). I write in Chandler's journal often. And last last year I wrote in this one quite a bit. So today, I ventured back to this old journal and reviewed happiness from last school year. The beginning of my junior year.

And wow how things have changed. I can't even say it's funny how much they've changed. It's more like, incredible.

Here's a story for you: Girl falls for guy, guy gives girl sweatshirt, they go to school banquet, guy asks girl out, they have so much fun, guy kisses girl, girl falls even more for guy, guy acts strange, girl loses guy... they become great friends.

That will hopefully explain a little bit of what's happened since I last updated.

I probably won't update a lot. Then again, I might. Senior year is just around the corner and I couldn't be more excited. It's coming with it's share of uncertainties, of course. But that's okay with me. I'm excited to head into the unknown and explore what God has given me. And no matter what, I know I'll always have my friends around to give me a hug when I need it. :)

I have a question for you all. My oldest brother, Andy, went to college when I was 11. I'm now 17. He comes back and everything's so different. He missed out on his families life. He missed his family growing up, his younger brother joining the marines, our parents divorce, his little sisters getting much more grown up. He seemed to have missed everything. And now it's my turn. Next year I'll hopefully be going to a college. I already have one in mind. It's in Pennsylvania. But that's not really the point. The point is; it's my turn to start making these changes and to start missing out on my life here at home. That scares me sometimes. But, well, I guess it excites me too.

Senior year starts in approximately 15 days. I know I may sound crazy, but I'm ecstatic. :)

2005-12-28T18:09:00.001-08:00

Opus de Joanna

2005-12-28T18:09:00.000-08:00

Hi Guys!! So this is Jim, Joanna's big brother. I uhh.. don't know what to write about. I don't like this keyboard very much though... It makes too much noise and I hate the miniscule little backspace key. ANyways!!! So! Just wanted to drop a bnote (get it? blog/bnote HAR HAR) to say hi to all you'ns and give a shout out to my lil' bowow sistah!! So Yeah.. Peace out, long live the Queen and all that Jazz. And!!!!! Happy New Yeah!

Because I'm REALLY REALLY bored and it's only 8:45am

2005-12-22T08:47:00.000-08:00

What is your name?: Joanna
Are you named after anyone?: I don't think so...?
What's your screename?: Doglover569
Would you name a child of yours after you?: Nope
Most Used Nickname?: Joj, probably, Schlomo perhaps
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: Yeah, probably, mine's too long.
Gay/Bi:: Eww...neither
Single?: Nope!
Birthdate::11/15/88
Age you wish you were: I like my age
Your height:: 5'4" according to that thing in the mall
Eye color:: Blue, green.. I have chamealeon eyes. :) I totally spelled that wrong
Hair color: Right now, reddish brownish blondish
Piercings?: Just my ears
Tattoos?: Tottoos = pain
Do you have any secrets?: Of course not!
What is the compliment you get from most people?: I don't know... I hate questions like these
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: A Very Boring Life
Can you sing?: Yep
aything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Sure, but I don't really think about it. Can't change the past, so why bother?
Do you think life has been good so far?: It's had it's major bumps, but in a whole, I can't really complain.

Do You...
Drink?: Eww, no
Read the newspaper?: Don't get the newspaper
Pray?: Most definitely
Go to church?: Yep!
Act nice to people you hate: Ummm... I don't really hate that many people. If I don't like them, I just don't talk to them.
do you like to drive fast?: Sometimes
Gotten beaten up?: Nope
Beaten someone up?: If beating up Ali counts, then yeah. :)
Been on stage?: Yep!
Slept outdoors?: Yep.. Water Sports Camp.. woot woot!
Thought about suicide?: That's sad, and NO. I enjoy life too much!
Pulled an all nighter?: Once I stayed up till 4am, does that count?
If yes, what is your record?: Eh?
Gone one day without food?: Yep
Talked on the phone all night?: Does until 2am count?
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: Nope
Slept all day?: No, how boring
Made out with a stranger?: Eww, no.
Gotten paid to have sex with someone?: See above: Eww, no.
Broken the law?: Haha... depends on how you look at it.
Met a famous person?: Yeah! I sang with Dick Van Dyke and I met the mom on Smallville and Mr. Green in Clue

Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: No, thank the Lord
Stolen anything?: If stealing pencils from people and my church count
Been on radio/tv?: TV, yeah, kinda.
Bungee jumped?: That's scary
Belive in life on other planets? Nope
God?: Yes!
Satan?: Yes
Santa?: No
Ghosts?: No
Luck?: Not really
Coincidencefairys?: Is that coincidence? That makes no sense
Love at first sight?: Not really
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: Hehe, nope
Do you wish on stars?: Nope

Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: My religion teacher would say I do
Do you believe in organized religion?: Umm.. yeah? I think so?
Where do you think we go when we die?: Depends on if you're saved or not
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Alison
Who's your longest known friend?: Christiny!
Newest?: Oh gosh, umm... Johanna?
Funniest?: All my friends are really funny
Sexiest: haha
Sweetest?: They're all sweet, too... Christina?
Closest?: Christina
Weirdest?: Brent and Cory... haha!
Smartest?: Umm... Cory
Ditziest?: Christina and Laura
Friends you miss being close to the most?: I have an answer, but I'm not putting it on here
Last person you talked to online?: Alisa
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone: Does my dad count? If he doesn't, then it was Brent
Who listens to your problems?: Lots of them. :) Mostly Christina though
Who do you fight most with?: Alison, poor thing
Who's the best singer?: They're all good
Friend everyone thinks you like: Who does everyone think I like? Brent.
Who's the loudest friend?: Alison or Laura
Who's house were you last at?: Brents
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: Brents?
What do you find cutest from a guy?: Their ability to laugh and make others laugh with them
Turn-on?: Ummm.... yo no se
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: No, because I think girls could do that just as well as guys could. I never would, it's too scary.
What Is the thing your guy MUST have? Umm.. that's a stupid question
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: They're not that bad, except for when certain boys lie and it makes you so very sad
What's the last present someone gave you?: Cory gave me a present I haven't opened, Brent gave me a seal *shakes head*
Are you in love?: I'm in love with God... does that work?

whats the last person...
You wanted to kill?: Haha, I can't tell you on here. :) No, I don't want to kill anyone!
That you laughed at?: Brent, probably. He was the last person I saw
That laughed at you?: Brent? Well, he doesn't laugh, he just makes fun of and mimics
You went shopping with?: Christina!
To disappoint you?: .....
To ask you out?: Brent
That you thought about?: Christina, actually
You saw a movie with?: In the theaters? Christina. Normal? Brent (weird movie)
You saw?: Assuming the people in my house don't count, Brent

Right This Moment...
Are you going out? What? Am I going out right now? With someone? Am I physically leave the house? Or am I going out with someone? Goodness, that's a confusing question
what are you wearing right now?: My pj's
Body part you're touching right now: Umm... none
What's on your mousepad?: I don't have a mousepad
Are you tired?: Nope
Are you talking to anyone online?: Nope
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: Nope
Are you listening to music?: Nope
What music are you listening to : I'm not

Everyone....

2005-12-16T18:26:00.000-08:00

...today was the last day of finals. And it was wonderful. Chemistry was the easiest thing, then I worked for about five and a half hours and that was SO entertaining. And yeah, today has just been wonderful.

Three weeks of Christmas break = woot woot!!! :)

I want to be beautiful

2005-12-06T19:16:00.000-08:00

Every morning you get ready for your day. You pull yourself out of bed, climb into some clothes, brush your teeth, and fix your hair. Yet the majority of that is spent in front of a mirror. You look at yourself and ask yourself what you can do to be more beautiful. What can you physically improve to make people look at you?

Today on the way to school, I heard on the radio "be as beautiful as you possibly can be." And that brought a question to my mind. What beautiful are they talking about? Be as beautiful as you possibly can be? Beautiful in the worlds eyes? That is something we will never achieve. We will never be beautiful enough. There will always be someone skinnier, prettier hair, stronger, cuter than us. It's not possible to be as beautiful as the world demands.

But what is beautiful? To some it is the clothes you are wearing or how you look on a particular day. One may say "You look beautiful today," and that will almost always mean, you physically look good. A boy may compliment you on how "beautiful" you are and you may blush and say thank you. By all means it is a nice compliment. But, do we know what "beautiful" really is?

The dictionary says that beautiful is:
1.Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight.
2.Excellent; wonderful.
The first one sticks out to me the most. Qualities that delight the senses, especially sight. Beautiful is something nice to look at. You turn your head when you see someone or something beautiful. Beauty is attractive; it will capture your eye and you can't look away.

The second definition of beautiful is, according to me, more accurate. Excellent; wonderful. It doesn't say anything about sight or pleasure to look out. It's being wonderful at something.

How do you view beauty? A father playing baseball with his kids... that's beautiful. Girls with no makeup and no showers for a few days... that's beautiful. People that will choose God over drugs... that's beautiful. People that choose to study hard in school instead of cheating off their neighbors test... that's beautiful. A person laughing is beautiful. A smile is beautiful. A person that is honest is beautiful. A person that loves God more than anything and is willing to sacrifice his/her own life for Him is beautiful.

What is beauty? God is beauty. God created beauty, why must we categorize it to girls in cute outfits with small stomachs?

The next time someone calls you beautiful, what will you think? I don't want to be called beautiful because I look good or because they think I'm cute. I would like to be called beautiful because they saw something wonderful in me; A relationship with God.

How do you view beauty?

(sorry for the serious post, this was just bugging me aaalll day! :))

Wow

2005-12-02T21:23:00.000-08:00

This week was a pretty wonderful week, I must admit. This is not counting the fact that at any point in time I could have barfed and would have felt better doing so, or the fact that sometimes I was shaking so much my teeth chattered. I just had a wonderful week... for... happy reasons. :)

Tonight my quartet sang at the Camarillo SDA church for a Christmas thing. And it was a lot of fun. Happy times were had. We had our rehearsal and it was TERRIBLE, and people made scary faces at us. Haha. Then we prayed about, four times, including while walking up there, and God really pulled through. He allowed us to remember our lines, sound well, and bless the people we were singing to. God is awesome. God is SOOO awesome. This is something I've forgotton recently; how awesome God really is. Wow. I'm pretty stupid! I should be focusing on Him a lot more. Hehe, more happiness!! Anyway, so tonight was wonderful thanks to God. I love God.

Tomorrow should be happy... and Sunday is banquet. Wooot!!! I love happiness... and I love God!!!!!

Tonight

2005-11-26T20:06:00.000-08:00

Tonight was so incredibly entertaining. Lets see, at like, 2:30 Christiny and I went to lunch (YAY for Taco Bell!!!!!!!), then we came home and didn't really do anything. Then we started Finding Neverland (AKA worlds BEST movie ever!!!) and then like, five minutes in we had to go get ready for Seans baptism. That took way too long and finally we left, picked up Chelsea P, and hustled (that's an appropriate word for what we were doing...lol) to the church in Simi. The baptism was SOO much fun and so wonderful and it made me so happy. Haha, communion proved to be entertaining. Lol. Anyway, then we hung around for a little bit and chatted with fun people and it was highly entertaining. Then Christina and I left and we had possibly the most wonderful car ride home. :) Me gusta. Now I'm waiting for 8:50, so I can pick up Shane and go to a movie in Ventura. It'll prove to be one interesting night. Haha. I'm excited. This weekend should be a good one.

What a weird post...

Yay for life

2005-11-23T18:46:00.000-08:00

Today has been fun. It started off relatively slow than picked up when Ali said we were going to the mall in five minutes and I still had to take a shower. So fun. Lol. Then we went to the mall where Shane, Ali, and I majorly clashed, but that's okay. Then I came home and did nothing and then went on a stinkin' long walk with Fala and I met up with Christina and we talked for a while and it was fun. Then I came home. Now I'm getting ready to go to see Rent with Steven and Matthew. I'm so excited. Here are some pictures of todays entertaining...ness??? :)

Scary... that's all I can say

It's beautiful, isn't it? I'm proud to say I took this picture...

My shoes. Woot woot, woot woot!

Help! Shane is strangling me..

Wow, I look like such a baby! Lol!

In honor

2005-11-20T08:59:00.000-08:00

In honor of my phone and the ring it possesses whenever anyone calls me, I am here to show you something wonderful. Most you should recognize my ring tone near the end. :) Enjoy.

http://college.break.com/articles/numaband.html

My dog shall be the death of me

2005-11-17T16:52:00.000-08:00

Okay, so, here's a quick blurb about nothing. Last night I went out to dinner, then went shopping (woot!), then began the Harry Potter-athon. I didn't make it to the end of the movie, but that's normal. How I'm going to stay up for a midnight showing tonight is beyond me, but I've done it in the past. Anywhoo, at 10pm I started my stupid three page biography on Thomas Jefferson, and at 11:45 I had to call it quits. I only had two pages, so I decided to work on it the next morning... which I did. I got two pages and a paragraph. Woot. Then I went to school and something really entertaining happened during chapel, but I can't remember what. Then I went to History and Chelsea Cross and I were the only ones who wrote the paper, so we had to go up and talk about it in class. Hopefully I'll still get most credit. Anyway, then we did nothing. Then there was choir, which was entertaining and I made a pinky-promise... something I haven't done in a very long time. :) Then I had religion, and it was boring, but I did three Bible markings, so yay. Then I had lunch, and it was yummy and fun. Alison played the trumpet, serenaded Brent, and it was just great. Then I had Chemistry which was confusing and hurt my head. Then I went to work, but Mr. Nelson was no where to be seen, so Nicole and I spent about fifteen minutes trying to get the CD to work, but it never did. We finally figured it out right as I was leaving. Then I left and came home to find Cookie on the front porch sleeping and I knew the dogs had gotten out. There was a note from Mrs. Mac (AKA the 1,000 year old lady) saying they had Fala. So, I went down there to get her, and, long story short, Fala is in the side run now with cleaner ears. That dog is going to kill me, I can tell. She's the reason my stress level is NOT lowering. Oh well.

So... tonight... Harry Potter at 12. WOOT!!!!

I was once a treehouse

2005-11-15T21:06:00.000-08:00

Once again, you are all being blessed by worlds best video. If anyone learns this and sings it for me, they'll be my best friend forever. :)
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/llama.php

Exactly a year

2005-11-12T20:05:00.000-08:00

Exactly a year ago... I got Lomaxy! I was assuming I'd have him for a year and a half, raise him happily, watch him go from an annoying puppy to a grown up dog, and then turn him in. Well, it obviously didn't happen that way. That's okay. I miss him sometimes, but I really don't regret the decision I made at all. I miss his wiggly butt and his yearn for affection, but... this is good. I made the right decision. So, happy would-be-anniversary Mr. Lomax!!!

2005-11-10T23:22:00.000-08:00

Ok, so, my last post was much too depressing. So...... yay for happiness!!! Tonight Christina and I came to the conclusion that my triplet was living in my toe. It's really quite disturbing, but I'm learning to cope with the whole idea. We also learned not to sleep at Christina's house... she may take pictures of you. And just seconds after sleeping you could be doing who-knows-what with who-knows-who. That means, taking the best pictures ever with Laura and Christina. Ahh, such great times. Aaaannndd... hoppefully my computer parts will be here tomorrow so I can FINALLY have my new computer!!! And... tomorrow my quartet sings, and Saturday my quartet sings, and Sunday is benefit (I REALLY need to sell some tickets), and Monday is... Monday. It's so exciting. Then my friends leave me on Wednesday. :( So sad. But then eventually Thanksgiving break will roll around and that makes me SO incredibly excited!!!! School is overwhelming and never ending! So yay for breaks!! And yay for happiness, and yay for God. :)

Oddness

2005-11-10T17:29:00.000-08:00

She was standing behind a window that she had to shatter in order to get where she wanted. It was a really long and painful process, and she didn't think she'd ever make it. When she thought she had made it, she found more and more glass holding her back. But she persevered. She kept going. It hurt and and stung and left permanent scars, but she did it. She will never forget the pain that it took. But she will never regret making the decision to get there.

Lookee here

2005-11-05T12:00:00.000-08:00

This is great stuff.

http://www.funny-videos.co.uk/videohiddencamera.html

Laughing is contagious.....and you all know the rest

2005-11-03T21:35:00.000-08:00

Today was fun. Kind of long, but... I started my job!!! Yay for grading Senior papers! Haha! It is exciting.

Next week is crazy. Three tests in my hardest classes (go Algebra 2, Chemistry, and History, woot woot!) and I have lots of singing (SUPER exciting!) and I swear something is happening on the 11th, but I really can't remember. It sure seem like something is though.

Then the week after is my birthday and the midnight showing of a great movie. I am excited! And even more homework... and my brother and his wife and two cats are moving in.

I can't wait until this semester is over. I'm getting very tired!

Odd quotes:
Mr. Kesler is a funny man
Sometimes I honestly wish I was blind...and possibly deaf
Don't you just hate being in the wrong place at the wrong time?
I love innocent friends... :)

And finally... quartet rocks. Honestly, it brings such incredibly joy to my day. I was thinking about it this evening and I came to the conclusion that quartet is the happiest of things to do!!!! Yay!

Wow... what a ramble.

Heartache

2005-10-26T18:11:00.000-07:00

Today I was discussing with a friend the fact that heartbreak really does hurt. It actually does inflict physical pain on you. It's a pain that only people that have experienced it can talk about or understand. No one can have sympathy for you, just empathy. And it hurts. There is a real pain. Something brings back a memory from far back in your head, and you get a pain so excruciating you don't think you can breathe. You stop for a moment, perhaps tears form in your eyes -- from the pain or the thought is up to you -- and then you take a deep breath and continue on in life. Yet the pain never really subsides. It'll always be there inside of you. After a while the pain may be less and less, and it may no longer hurt. But it's still there. There will be a permanent scar, and you'll never completely heal. You still hurt. It still hurts. There's still pain.

But, the pain was brought from a memory that was most likely a good memory. A memory that was made ina very happy moment. And even though sometimes it hurts so badly you wish you no longer had that memory, you know you still want it. You can't just discard the memory because it means something to you. Its helped form you into who you are today. That memory, no matter how painful to live with now, was for your benefit. In that moment you were happy.

Happiness is better then pain. True, without pain we probably can't have happiness. Life will hurt. But the happiness is far greater a feeling than pain. Happiness comes with excited bubbles in your stomach. Happiness comes with a smile forming over your face that people will notice because it's not fake. Happiness comes with happiness. And even though life will suck and hurt (and it will), just focus on the happiness. Focus on the bubbles in your stomach and the smile on your face. When you get pain, accept it. Pain's going to come. But so is happiness; embrace it. Happiness will always outnumber the times that you have pain.

Adding and subtracting

2005-10-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

History + Project = frustrating
Choir - people singing next to me = happiness until people hit the wrong notes and hold out s's and such longer than they should
Religion + good grades = yay
Lunch - Ali being sick = okay
Chemistry + everything clicking + good grade = extreme happiness
Nothing + History homework = relaxing
Newburians + "AND ON EARTH" = Woot woot!
History Project + ANNOYING PEOPLE = Joanna wanting to vandalize the school!
Christina + Joanna + a video camera + extreme boredom + Kyle Harris + Johanna + Brent + Bodie + The Crocodile Hunter = the best random video we have ever made.

Did all that makes sense? Good stuff!

Runts

2005-10-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

Her name is Runts. Weighing in at approximately 15 pounds, she's not like most cats. Rotund and abnormally obeise, she can't get around very well. This causes her to be lazy. She'll get up for water and food and the occasional bathroom trip, but that's about the extent of her duties. The rest of the day is spent sleeping. Sleeping on the floor, on the table, on beds, on laps, it doesn't matter as long as she is sleeping. (Beware: If she chooses to sleep on your lap, you may lose circulation in your legs.) At night she finds interest in sleeping on Ali's bed. I don't allow her to sleep in my room as her distinct aroma will fill the room and gag me during my sleep. I turn on the light and she meows her greeting, and rolls over numerous times on her back like an overgrown chihuahua. I brace myself to pick her up, stagger to the doorway with her in my arms, and plop her down. She meows her thank you for not allowing her to exert any energy, and finds the next place to go to bed. In the middle of the night she will jump on my screen outside and bang on it, meowing her head off, telling me she wants in. Believing in not giving her what she wants, I usually shrug it off and fall asleep. But lately her meows have become so constant and aggravating I can't leave it. I get up out of bed, unlock the door, and let the fat one in.

This is what Runts' day consists of. Regardless of her size and her annoyingness, she's the best first animal I've ever owned.

Heffalumps and Woozles

2005-10-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

They're black, they're brown,
They're up, they're down
They're in, they're out
They're all about
They're far, they're near
They're gone, they're here
They're quick and slick, they're insincere
Beware, beware, be a very wary bear

A heffalump a woozle is very confusle
A heffalump a woozle's very sly, sly, sly
They come in one's and twosles
But if they so choosles
Before your eyes you'll see them multiply, ply, ply

They're extraordinary
So better be wary
Because they come in every shape and size, size, size
If honey's what you covet
You'll find that they love it
Because they'll guzzle up the thing you prize

Beware, beware, be a very wary bear

They're extraordinary
So better be wary
Because they come in every shape and size, size, size
If honey's what you covet
You'll find that they love it
Because they'll guzzle up the thing you prize

They're black, they're brown
They're up, they're down
They're in, they're out
They're all about
They're far, they're near
They're gone, they're here
They're quick and slick, they're insincere
Beware, beware, beware, beware, beware!

Because EVERYONE else is doing it...

2005-10-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

FIRSTS
First best friend: Christina! Woot woot!
First car: My baby Geo Prizm
First makeout: Kissing = yucky. Haha, no... virgin lips! Woot!
First love: Never loved anyone
flight: July 2003
First time skiing: August 8th, 2005...I believe!
First concert: Steven Curtis Chapman a LOOOONG time ago!
alchoholic drink: Nope!
ticket violation: I'm a good driver, hah!
First job: Day Care counselor. BLAH!
First date: May 22nd

LASTS
Last car ride: Coming home from the best tutorials ever!
kiss: What did I tell you?? I hate questions like that!
Last time you cried: Three or four nights ago, but not immense sobbing. Silent tears.
Last movie watched: The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants (good stuff!)
Last food you ate: ICE CREAM!! I love Ali!
Last temptation: I don't really get that question, but to text someone. Haha! How lame, I love it!
Last item bought: I don't know...I haven't bought anything in a LONG time! A CD? Maybe. Yo no se! No wait! A doggy toy!
Last annoyance: Something
Last alcoholic drink: I don't drink! Stupid question
Last concert: That would have to be... Steven Curtis Chapman a LOOONG time ago, excluding all the continental concerts. :)
Last phone call: This is too embarrasing to say...Alex Torres. Someone PLEASE call me! I think it was him at least. NO!!!!! CHRISTINA!!!!!! THANK YOU CHRISTINA!
Last friend you added on MYSPACE: Katie

CURRENTS
Current Best Friend(s) : I have a lot! Christina, school friends, church friends. I love them all!
Current Car: My baby Geo Prizm
Current drink: Who said I was drinking something? I qualify this as a stupid question. Or, in Jordans words "You have been voted off the island." You know how many times I've been voted off the island? It's sad, really.
Current activity: STUPID question! Duh! I'm doing this. Then I'm going to go do my history homework, then rejoice!
Current annoyance: Haha!
Current mood: Happy!!! At times...dissapointed...but all around so very happy! Life = good. God = MUCH BETTER!

Love Them Like Jesus

2005-10-16T21:45:00.000-07:00

The love of her life is drifting away
They're losing the fight for another day
The life that she's known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child's broken heart

You're holding her hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
She's desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She's looking to you

Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves her, and stay by her side
And love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
A little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to gray
As the little one slips away

You're holding their hand, you're straining for words
You're trying to make sense of it all
They're desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They're looking to you

Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them, and stay by their side
And love them like Jesus

The Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don't need the answers to all of life's questions
Just know that He loves them, and stay by their side
And love them like Jesus

~~~~~ Casting Crowns

It's not the outside that counts

2005-10-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

So, it was just me and my sister home for dinner. We had a huge amount of homework to do, so we couldn't go be social at our wonderful small group. Sad. :( Oh well. I decide to make pancakes for dinner. Well, Joanna + Kitchen = disaster. It was eventful, that's for sure. All was going well, I was a pro! My self esteem regarding pancake making was going up!... untill I had to pour the batter onto the stove thing. "Wow," thought I, "that batter is really thick!" so I add more milk to it. Hmm... didn't really do the trick. Anyway, so I pour the batter and it doesn't heat, and doesn't heat. The pancakes still stay a nice, creamy, gooey, color. I put on the heat even more, same thing. Finally they brown. The daunting task of flipping them is upon me. Under the pancakes the little spatula went, up went the pancake... SPLAT! Pancake is split in two. The next three pancakes look perfect...a little oozy, but that's to be expected. Then I put those four beauties (well, three beauties, one beast) on a plate and started with the next one. I suppose you shouldn't read Chemistry while making pancakes.. your pancakes tend to burn. But, the flipping process went well. Yes! Success! After that came the last and final batch. The first 1/4 cup of batter was drizzled onto the pan; it sizzled nicely. The second cup of batter drizzles nicely as well, then woops! My hand slips and I touch the first pancake. That's OK, having a little bit of a deformity never hurt anyone. The third and fourth one went well, then for humor I added a baby pancake. Big mistake. I flipped the first pancake, which landed on top of the second pancake. I pry it off of the pancake, then flip the second pancake, which lands half off the pan, half on. I fix it and move on to the third. It flips like a good little pancake. The fourth pancake landed on the third pancake for unknown reasons, and when I moved the third pancake it took about half of the fourth pancake with it. The fifth, baby, and final pancake was at hand. I thought it'd be easy, but I was quite wrong. I pick up the little bugger with no problem, and when I flip it, it grabs on to pancake number four. I move it away, it breaks in half, and half of it attaches itself to pancake number 2. Finally I combine both halves of the pancake together, each side with its own decorations of the other pancakes on it. I put them on the plate with the remaining pancakes and set them down to eat.

Moral of the story: I still make the best pancakes around. Ali said she has never tasted anything quite so wonderful.

YAY! :-D

Interesting

2005-10-08T12:25:00.000-07:00

You know what I realized? I realized that we can go along in life assuming everything is just perfect, and then something will happen. We look down and realize we're losing something, it's going to fall and it'll take a lot of time and work to get it back to where it belongs. The instant we see that we're losing it, we grab on even tighter. We begin to pray and say "no o, I don't want to lose this!" If we lose hope, we will eventually drop it and it'll be a slow process to get back to where we were. If you hold on tighter and longer, however, we will eventually reach our destination. We may have hit a few bumps along the way, but in the end... it's all worth it.

Haha! I love what that was inspired by. It makes me laugh. :)

Who needs depressing?!

2005-10-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

Today I read that my dog, Mr. Lomax, was blessed by a priest this past Sunday. He got water sprinkled on his head, more than likely a little cross type thing made above him, and his owner was told he would go to Heaven. Sounds...umm...odd. I guess that's the right word. Although, disturbing may suffice as well.

On another note. Fala got out today. She's super bored from being so cooped up so she dug a hole. So, as a reward (I'm a bad mommy), she came in the house for about an hour. She was a surprisingly good puppy and chewed on a bone the entire time. This is definitely a surprise as Fala is also known as Miss Spaz. But, she's cute and I love her and she makes me very happy. :)

Are you ever afraid of hiding so much that you end up hiding from yourself?

It's two years later and she's three more steps behind

2005-10-04T21:33:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking (note the word thinking) of going away. I'll still be here, don't worry. But, I feel like going away. So, I might. If I do, I just wanted to say...in the long run this summer really rocked!

*singing* She is running, a hundred miles an hour, in the wrong direction.

I hate computers

2005-10-02T21:55:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to agree with Mr. Kesler. I'm beginning to believe that computers are lower than dirt, right along with poetry. It just deleted my post. I'm not going to re-type it, that's a waste of time. So, I'm going to...say it again just in different words. Oh how I hate this computers.

Today was a lot of fun, full of church, lunch, making Ali's religion video with Ryan Dolinsky and Bodie, trying to find clothes for tonight at Christina's house, going to the square dance at church (I can't believe I did that), and then coming home. Fun times were had by many. Yay for that.

School is tomorrow, which saddens me to some extent. I really need to start working on my religion project... and I need to write an essay in History (that all confuses my brain), and I need to take a quiz in Chemistry and figure out when to make up the lab. Hmm. Fun stuff right there man.

I'm tired. It's time for Joanna to go nighty-night.

PS. God rocks!

Oh gracious

2005-09-28T21:23:00.000-07:00

I got my Newburians dress today. It is one big black sheet that falls in the most unattractive way. It's quite hideous. But, it gave Christina and me a good laugh at the end of a long day. So, I guess in that aspect, it is a good thing!!

Running the mile in PE today = not so fun and added extreme pain to already quite sore legs . That was random. But staying for football games was actually a lot more entertaining than anticipated, and that makes me happy!

I'm being a bad girl and not studying for my Chemistry quiz tomorrow. Hmm. I know most of the elements, and yeah... I have absolutely no motivation to study for that quiz except for getting a good grade in that class. I guess that should be enough motivation, eh? *ponders*...nah.

Lesson of the day: The first step to obesiety is fat fingers!

One final note: God = very awesome!

I am mourning

2005-09-26T17:09:00.000-07:00

Tonight I mourn for the loss of something that has been a great companion to me during the years. A companion that was always there for me. A companion that would rarely let me down. A companion that enabled me to keep in touch with friends all across the globe. A companion that I could love but it never loved me back.

And now as I say my hearty farewell to AIM Instant Messenger, I shall thank it for all the wonders it produced. Talking at 2am to my friends, discussing many important topics, and going on and on about life was all because of AIM. It has blessed me over the years.

So, farewell dear AIM. Farewell fun profiles and goofy colors. Farewell buddy icons and pretty fonts. Farewell conversing with the outside world....

Goodbye to you

2005-09-24T16:45:00.000-07:00

Maxy man left today. It was pretty sad, but that's OK. I'm still very happy and content with this situation. And Jenny is SO nice and I can tell she's really going to love him, and I know Lomax will love it there. So, that's good.

Aqui es un song:

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart and when You do You make it light
As I exhale I hear Your voice
And I answer You thought I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's a fallen man's praise
'Caues I love You
God, I love You

And life is now worth living
If only because of You
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I lift my eyes to You
I won't look very far
'Cause You'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again ~~~~~ Relient K

Good stuff right there.

Older brothers

2005-09-23T20:46:00.000-07:00

Has anyone noticed how wonderful older brothers are?? If you are an unlucky person and do not get to have the experience of having a wonderful older brother, I apologize. Older brothers will make you laugh, make you cry, will always fight the boys off for you, poke fun at you, but most of all, always make you feel very happy. Yesterday my brother, Andy (oldest of three) found my blog. He commented and I found his blog. And lo and behold, upon looking at it I see a post dedicated to little sisters. And for once in a very long time, I felt it was a great compliment to be called a "little sister." It made me smile!! Yay for being a little sister!! Woot woot!

Uhh

2005-09-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

Review of my day:

1st period: Extreme happiness due to easy History test
2nd period: Choir which will always rocks
3rd period: Religion...asi asi... coolest song ever was played
Lunch in the choir room...woot!
4th period: Chemistry... let's not go into it
5th period: Sitting outside under a tree and do my Bible study and write...happiness.
And the best part of my day...quartet practice!!!! Woot woot!!! Those songs rock.

Then I came home, and I forgot what I did. Uhh... nothing. Then I went out to dinner with mi hermano y mi padre a taco bell. Me gusta taco bell. Then we went home. Then I took a shower, went down to Christina's house "His new name is Larry... or is it Lloyd? Or Leroy??" I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time. Then I came home and did my hair... then I updated this.

Now I'm thinking "I should be in bed, I'm going to be regretting this at 6:30am tomorrow." Oh well. Updating blog = happiness. And happiness = Wooot!

Casting Crowns rocks

2005-09-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

I was sure by now
That You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again I say "Amen" and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

I will praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I'm swallowing snot

2005-09-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

Today I was sick. Yucky type of sick. I woke up feeling like total and complete crap, went to school, felt like dying in Algebra (can't tell if that was 'cause of the cold, or 'cause of Algebra), somehow lived through choir, and sat there in english. Pure torture and incredible discomfort. Oh well. The fact that my head wanted to fall off so the pain could subside is irrelevant. Then there was lunch, and it was mucho funo sitting next to my lockers with Christina. 'Twas great. Jordan is a butthead though, and made me sad. After lunch was PE, but because I was sick, I slept the entire time. Sweet. Then, my WONDERFUL quartet got together and we sang. La di da. The song is beautiful. I'm excited!!! Then Shearin and I made copies of the song, which was great fun as well. Then I did homework as Ali and Christina played their little hearts out with a football.

So, today's summary: Overall good... would change one or two minor things, but all in all... it was good.

The Last of the Lasts

2005-09-18T20:57:00.000-07:00

Today I started the Lasts. The last Sunday school, the last church service, the last Toppers outing, and the last weekend here. Usually these times are really tough on me, but not so much with this situation. The fact that Lomax is leaving really doesn't bother me much at all. I know that may sounds harsh, but it's very true. Lomax is going to a wonderful, wonderful home to someone who will probably care for him A LOT more than I do. And honestly, that excites me. It excites me a lot. It makes me so happy knowing that my boy is FINALLY going to get the home he deserves. It makes me happy knowing that he's going to be learning even more commands and be challenged more. He's getting a new life. He deserves a new life. I'm sad that he's leaving on Saturday, yes. I'm sad that I couldn't fulfill my commitment to GDA and to him. I'm sad that I won't have a furry little companion to accompany me to school every day (in some ways). But, I'm happy. Finally! After a summer of not so great choices, I made a good choice. At least, that's how I feel today. But you never know with girls emotions!! One day they're totally optimistic about something, the next day they're on the couch with loads of icecream, venting to their friends about how they wish they could go back and change everything. (And yay for those friends that listen!!) Well, I suppose that's the life of a girl..eh? :)

That's great

2005-09-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

Hmm... welcome to my blog. I have plenty of other things that could be called a blog, so I may not update on here very much. Well, who knows... it could be my next obsession. Anything is better than ice cream, right?? *shakes head no*

I'm pondering deeply about what to say. But I'm tired, so nothing is coming to my mind.